In my office, I treat different trauma-related conditions. One is a type of PTSD called complex PTSD aka cPTSD. In short, it’s a cluster of symptoms that develop after lots of repeated awful experiences. OR it’s the kind of PTSD that is worsened by additional family or social hurts.
Symptoms of cPTSD can include the typical PTSD symptoms:
- Nightmares
- Flashbacks
- Outbursts
- Depressed thoughts
- Looking for threats around every corner
- Inability to calm down
But it also includes some subtler unexpected symptoms, like:
- Difficulty trusting people, even people who have proven to be very kind
- Repeatedly getting into friendships and romantic relationships with people who do not have your best interest in mind
- Having no idea what “normal” even means when it comes to emotions
- Getting locked up when making a decision – not trusting yourself
- Disconnection/dissociation from the present moment
This can obviously impact your work. If your symptoms are showing up at work, you might be:
- Taking on work that is far outside of your job description because you can’t say no.
- Doing an stellar presentation or project, but not remembering any of it because you dissociated from the moment. You might be physically present but not mentally present.
- Reacting out of proportion to your boss or colleagues feedback…almost as if they are your critical parent, or violent sibling.
If your cPTSD symptoms are showing up at work here are 3 things you can do TODAY to start getting better:
1: Write.
As soon as your work day ends, scratch down a couple thoughts about how your day went. You need to be able to notice patterns and your writing will help you do that.
2: Check in on your work connections.
Do your work relationships remind you a little too much of your family, church, or other challenging relationship environment? Challenge yourself to see the ways in which your colleagues or customers are different people than the people who deeply hurt you.
3: Record your accomplishments and positive feedback somewhere.
If you’re the kind of person that can check out or get overwhelmed by doing a good job or getting a kind word, then you’re probably also disconnected from what you contribute. (Or you only remember when you’re furious and ranting about your work to yourself). So open your notes app or send yourself an email where you record your skills/abilities at work. Use this to ground yourself before taking on a difficult project.
(And a bonus #4): Remember that overpromising has costs to others and to yourself.
When asked to add on work, take a moment before you answer. Consider this:
“If I accept these additional responsibilities, it will result in other priorities/responsibilities shifting. Is everyone involved (including the person assigning this work to me) okay with these changes?”
I want you to think about this before agreeing to new tasks. Consider the impact on you, but also on any loved ones at home or other projects that your colleagues might not be as invested in.
Of course, working on PTSD and cPTSD in therapy, with the help of someone who can help you figure out your own healthy goals and perspective can be a crucial part of your recovery.
If you’re interested in working together with me, you can get started by sending me a message on my contact page and I’ll get you the information you need to get going!