As of today in the U.S., Tax Season is technically over. But since 2024, many Black women have declared that our “mental tax season” is over too.
We saw what was coming in the U.S. And there’s been hell to pay in many different communities.
But let’s focus on a particular, overlooked issue. In the past year, at least 600,000 Black women lost their jobs due to Department of Government Efficiency cuts, bad faith reinterpretations of “DEI,” and general economic changes. (sources here, here, and here).
Black women have always known that work is a high-stakes environment for us, even when it is not an openly hostile place!
In addition to doing the actual job we’re hired to do, we get to navigate the extra decisions of:
- Whether and when to code-switch.
- Putting together a “presentable” look while being prepared for that one colleague who gets… how should I put this?… overly-impressed.
- How to show off our skills without automatically accepting more work than our peers.
- And deciding when to let certain things slide or address them. (“Was I asked to take notes in this meeting because I’m good at it, because it’s my turn, or because I’m a woman?”)
Can you see how work quickly turns into a pile of extra calculations that we shouldn’t have had to do in the first place? It’s mentally taxing. And then we can add on the intergenerational patterns we’re unlearning and trying to tap into our family history in positive ways too!
If you have embraced the season of sitting down and putting your feet up, I love that for you! If you’re still learning how to cut your unnecessary mental tax burden, come on in, the water’s fine!
Here’s the changes I’m seeing in the women who hire me, and in the women I admire from afar. Take what you need, leave the rest.
BE YOURSELF
Yes, there’s a value in code-switching, and for many of us, it’s automatic. It’s no problem to keep doing it if it’s working for you.
But if you’re exhausted trying to be someone you’re not for 40+ hours a week, try bringing a little more of yourself into the room. Remember, this isn’t for the benefit of others, but for the benefit of yourself!
GIVE THE AWKWARDNESS OF MICRO-AGGRESSIONS & SMALL SLIGHTS BACK TO THE OWNER
You can cite an unwritten rule: “Oh, I don’t talk about politics in professional settings.” (Even if you do, lol).
You can respond with direct eye contact and silence.
And you can even give someone a light questioning when their comments land with a thud:
- Why do you need to give so much attention to my hair, Jerry?
- Do you feel good about saying that?
- Are you ok right now?
- Would you like to try again with a simple “good morning?”
Yes, this is your (future) therapist telling you to be a little petty. Just a little. You don’t own their feelings, they do. Give their discomfort back to them and enjoy your day!
GOOGLE IS FREE & AI IS CHEAP. LET PEOPLE FIND THEIR OWN ANSWERS.
There are plenty of resources for people to learn things they don’t know. Share your knowledge because you are passionate, because it will help you and your colleagues achieve a meaningful goal, or because you are having a reciprocally interesting conversation!
But don’t fall into the trap of trying to fix ignorance in others. People will learn when they are open to learn. You can point someone with a genuine question in a useful direction. But you do not have the responsibility of relieving a peer of their ignorance.
GET WISE COUNSEL
What do you have access to? Yes, a good therapist or professional coach is amazing, of course, but what about those books you’ve been meaning to read? A YouTube channel? Wise colleagues? Professional networks? Family? Friends who think outside the box?
When you feel threatened at work, it’s easy to go turtle-mode and think you have to figure it out on your own. You don’t!
Think of it this way: There’s a certain level of tax preparation you can do on your own. But most people use some type of software or get human help. If you’re trying to figure out how to drop the extra mental pressure you’ve been carrying and just live authentically and freely, getting some help is totally appropriate!
That’s certainly why I’m here! With EMDR, I’ll help you address your visible, tangible needs and the old emotional traps that are buried way below the surface.
You can message me on the CONTACT page and I’ll get you scheduled. And if your finances feel tight, for any reason, take a look at my PRICING page for special offers.